how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
