just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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