bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
