What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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