I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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