Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
