I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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