so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
