How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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