is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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