Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
