I bet he comes in French.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
