he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
