I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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