nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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