I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
