your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
