Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He felt like a one man threesome
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
