PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
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How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize