Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
