I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
