ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
