Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
