You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
