now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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