I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
