Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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