You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize