i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
