If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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