I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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