youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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