Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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