i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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