I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
