oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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