I feel like abortions should bother me more
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
be right there i have to get my cape
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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