Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
