My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
