My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
