no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
