I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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