my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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