a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
