why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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