I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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