You really coming over, don't trick.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
3 2 1 whiskey
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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