Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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