You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
