Sponge bath it is.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
