maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
