Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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