I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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