P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
