Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
