I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
