am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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