I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
