Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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