Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
