Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
