so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize