oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
