Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
