he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
