I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
