it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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